bluewaves_aiz
12032010
Here comes the learning passion again... And more than learning, I want to implement/apply... The list goes:
.I want to study photography, and digital arts. I want nature, buildings, human expressions as subject. I also want to capture the life of an event.
.I want to learn how to budget. How to meet the ends, and how to balance my financial life.
.I want to learn how to stay focus on a task, and to finish it with time.
.I want to learn to code GWT, or any languages for that matter, because I want to be a DEVELOPER - That will be my professional goal.
.I want to learn how to be appreciative of every little things in my life. Be it my 8-hours sleep, Spiritual foods digest, Foods I eat, People I get along with, I want to appreciate every positive things in nature.
.And the list will be added soon...
Friday, December 3, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
I will REACH IT
bluewaves_aiz
11232010
I am at my awakening time-11am... When its nearly lunch, and Im not yet productive...
Somethings been bothering me for months. I am on this laid-back-routined work again. And I'm not motivated at all. This is really sinking through me, its not at all challenging, and I hate it.
I want to develop. And I'm ambitious. My dreams are high, and I want to reach it - I will REACH IT.
I don't want it to be too late for me. So I'm gonna make my steps right now. I don't want opportunities to pass, and I'd like to strike the rod while its hot.
I don't want to stay in this loosed ground I'm standing. It rots my feet.
So... I'll act. Fast. Quality. I'll be better. I still have a lot of things to prove.
11232010
I am at my awakening time-11am... When its nearly lunch, and Im not yet productive...
Somethings been bothering me for months. I am on this laid-back-routined work again. And I'm not motivated at all. This is really sinking through me, its not at all challenging, and I hate it.
I want to develop. And I'm ambitious. My dreams are high, and I want to reach it - I will REACH IT.
I don't want it to be too late for me. So I'm gonna make my steps right now. I don't want opportunities to pass, and I'd like to strike the rod while its hot.
I don't want to stay in this loosed ground I'm standing. It rots my feet.
So... I'll act. Fast. Quality. I'll be better. I still have a lot of things to prove.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Never let your commitments interfere with your dreams....
bluewaves_aiz
09092010
It has been a long time since I wrote my spontaneous blogs, so trashy, I think... But recently, well maybe for a month, something bothers me - my career path.
When I was in elementary, I dream of graduating in highschool, when I was in 1st year high school, I dream of going to college, and when I turned to college, I dream of working. Yes, I just dream to advance. So futuristic that I really think, planning for future is my strength. But I'm weak at implementing it.
Highschool: My more specific dream, to be a psychologist and to study in UP. But when I need to follow-up my papers, and my parents disagree with the course, I ended up taking the path I didn't dream of. Fear, low self-esteem, low self-drive, procrastination, laziness and energiless actions contributed in doing so. Yes. I acknowledge my mistakes. I stayed within my comfort zone. But there is no room for regret now.
So when I started preparing for my on-the-job training, I corrected my mistakes - I chased after my dream, to work here in Manila. So even if it is always traffic, even it gives me stress, even when I loose weight, even if I stayed away from him, even if I can no longer give myself some luxury - it was all worth it. I gained what I want.
That's how stubborn I am. Even if it doesn't alleviate the situation, as long as I don't like it, I won't do it.
But now, grrrr... I'm doing some mainframe job. It's now what I dream at all. It doesn't make me happy.
And I'm afraid I'll stuck here for 2years. huhuhu... although, mainframe job has a lot of opportunities, and really, 40% of the biggest system still uses mainframe, it doesn't make me happy. Maybe because I'm not that good at it. It doesn't make me happy...
They said this field is an acquired taste. If it gives big bucks, why not! But my first love is for .NET and Java, and Web fields as well.
So I'm determined to use my spare time to study beyond my present commitment, and if chance is given, I'd like to pursue my passion and walk the career path I'd like to take.
"Never let your commitments interfere with your dream" - bluewaves_aiz
My goal for 5 years: BE promoted. To 3rd degree above my present position. And walk Java Development side. Be it web or standalone. I believe those go side by side.
09092010
It has been a long time since I wrote my spontaneous blogs, so trashy, I think... But recently, well maybe for a month, something bothers me - my career path.
When I was in elementary, I dream of graduating in highschool, when I was in 1st year high school, I dream of going to college, and when I turned to college, I dream of working. Yes, I just dream to advance. So futuristic that I really think, planning for future is my strength. But I'm weak at implementing it.
Highschool: My more specific dream, to be a psychologist and to study in UP. But when I need to follow-up my papers, and my parents disagree with the course, I ended up taking the path I didn't dream of. Fear, low self-esteem, low self-drive, procrastination, laziness and energiless actions contributed in doing so. Yes. I acknowledge my mistakes. I stayed within my comfort zone. But there is no room for regret now.
So when I started preparing for my on-the-job training, I corrected my mistakes - I chased after my dream, to work here in Manila. So even if it is always traffic, even it gives me stress, even when I loose weight, even if I stayed away from him, even if I can no longer give myself some luxury - it was all worth it. I gained what I want.
That's how stubborn I am. Even if it doesn't alleviate the situation, as long as I don't like it, I won't do it.
But now, grrrr... I'm doing some mainframe job. It's now what I dream at all. It doesn't make me happy.
And I'm afraid I'll stuck here for 2years. huhuhu... although, mainframe job has a lot of opportunities, and really, 40% of the biggest system still uses mainframe, it doesn't make me happy. Maybe because I'm not that good at it. It doesn't make me happy...
They said this field is an acquired taste. If it gives big bucks, why not! But my first love is for .NET and Java, and Web fields as well.
So I'm determined to use my spare time to study beyond my present commitment, and if chance is given, I'd like to pursue my passion and walk the career path I'd like to take.
"Never let your commitments interfere with your dream" - bluewaves_aiz
My goal for 5 years: BE promoted. To 3rd degree above my present position. And walk Java Development side. Be it web or standalone. I believe those go side by side.
Friday, August 13, 2010
A History
.It's ironic that the title of my blog is "Full Moon" while my background is water. They are two great contributory to my personality - the moon and the water.
Let's start with that moon thing. Don't even think of Sailor Moon. I only dreamt of wearing her costume. They say that mysterious thing happen when the moon shines brightly in full bloom. My hormones is triggered to do crazy things when the its Full Moon. Its a psychological thing - that the brightness of the moon just emanates a deviant side of me. I was even teased at my high school days as "werewolf"... (Well, that's just bernie, I still remember...hehe)...
And when I first created this blog. Its a Full Moon. And I'm wide awake, posting a blog entitled Full Moon.
As for why I love the water, I believe its the thing that can best describe me.
Water can be as clear and pure. Safe and calm.
It can be as wild as the waves, and crash with the rocks.
It can go with the flow of the river.
It can be as dirty and stagnant as the water in the creeks.
It can evaporate when it reaches its boiling point.
And can be frozen as well. But still,with great heat, it can still be melted.
It can provide refreshment to those who are thirsty.
But it can also cause diseases.
It can pour down heavily as the rain, if the clouds can no longer carry the load.
It changes into many form.
That was my reflections.
FYI: I'm bugged of ideas, but when I wrote it, it came out as a trash... hehe... :)
Let's start with that moon thing. Don't even think of Sailor Moon. I only dreamt of wearing her costume. They say that mysterious thing happen when the moon shines brightly in full bloom. My hormones is triggered to do crazy things when the its Full Moon. Its a psychological thing - that the brightness of the moon just emanates a deviant side of me. I was even teased at my high school days as "werewolf"... (Well, that's just bernie, I still remember...hehe)...
And when I first created this blog. Its a Full Moon. And I'm wide awake, posting a blog entitled Full Moon.
As for why I love the water, I believe its the thing that can best describe me.
Water can be as clear and pure. Safe and calm.
It can be as wild as the waves, and crash with the rocks.
It can go with the flow of the river.
It can be as dirty and stagnant as the water in the creeks.
It can evaporate when it reaches its boiling point.
And can be frozen as well. But still,with great heat, it can still be melted.
It can provide refreshment to those who are thirsty.
But it can also cause diseases.
It can pour down heavily as the rain, if the clouds can no longer carry the load.
It changes into many form.
That was my reflections.
FYI: I'm bugged of ideas, but when I wrote it, it came out as a trash... hehe... :)
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
It's almost a YEAR
bluewaves_aiz
08112010
Parokya ni edgar's song playing in air, It reminds me that in less than 24 hours, we'll turn a year, since we formed this unbreakable bond. Congratulate me, I lasted a YEAR!
Not in my conscious mind do I plan to stay this long. But I did it. Before, 2months is enough. Now, lifetime is not even enough.
And I love him... repeatedly, I'll say this. Because whatever I do to drain this feeling. It just grows exponentially - so capacious that this single palpitating heart can't contain, that this mind can't apprehend, and this soul can't control...
I love JAH more than him, but I love him more than myself.
For so long, I hated girls who go gaga over boys. Through this relationship, I can empathize with them more. Not because I did what they did, but because, maybe... if I were in their situation, I'd feel the same.
Through this relationship, I learned how to fight for what I earnestly love, to be passionate, to pursue my dreams. For even if we're miles apart and storms separate us, the feeling just don't grow less. It really grows fonder. Cause I miss him badly. And this kills me.
Through this relationship, I learned how to give. Before, I always think that girls should be served. Now, I'm proud that I serve him. Relationship is not a competition of who loves more, who gives more, who sacrifices more. Because at the end of the day, when you love him, give him, sacrifice for him. It multiplies your happiness. And no reciprocation would match to that feeling. I can say, "Loving unconditionally is one of the best feelings".
Before, I demand for time, effort and care. Through this relationship, I became less demanding, well, slightly (hehe...). But I try my best to be satisfied with his efforts, to appreciate what he do than to look for other things. I'm now a more considerate person than I was before.
Through this relationship, I matured. Maybe some people will even negate this saying that I'm immature. But I can say this because I don't rush to decisions like a child. Love is no longer a distraction. It made me inspired. It makes me live like the air around me. It made me chaste after my dreams first before pursuing a lifetime with him. To prepare a solid foundation before pursuing a lifetime commitment.
Through this relationship, I learned how to persevere and to not give up easily. It made me use my mind - to be critical and creative in thinking. To decide out of the box options. To not give up, still, doing what is right.
HE completed my life. And if he's gone, a black hole is built in my heart - it sucks every positive emotions I have. Thank you for being there.
This relationship contributed another great thing - It made me ME right now - a STURDIER mariz. Thanks.
08112010
Parokya ni edgar's song playing in air, It reminds me that in less than 24 hours, we'll turn a year, since we formed this unbreakable bond. Congratulate me, I lasted a YEAR!
Not in my conscious mind do I plan to stay this long. But I did it. Before, 2months is enough. Now, lifetime is not even enough.
And I love him... repeatedly, I'll say this. Because whatever I do to drain this feeling. It just grows exponentially - so capacious that this single palpitating heart can't contain, that this mind can't apprehend, and this soul can't control...
I love JAH more than him, but I love him more than myself.
For so long, I hated girls who go gaga over boys. Through this relationship, I can empathize with them more. Not because I did what they did, but because, maybe... if I were in their situation, I'd feel the same.
Through this relationship, I learned how to fight for what I earnestly love, to be passionate, to pursue my dreams. For even if we're miles apart and storms separate us, the feeling just don't grow less. It really grows fonder. Cause I miss him badly. And this kills me.
Through this relationship, I learned how to give. Before, I always think that girls should be served. Now, I'm proud that I serve him. Relationship is not a competition of who loves more, who gives more, who sacrifices more. Because at the end of the day, when you love him, give him, sacrifice for him. It multiplies your happiness. And no reciprocation would match to that feeling. I can say, "Loving unconditionally is one of the best feelings".
Before, I demand for time, effort and care. Through this relationship, I became less demanding, well, slightly (hehe...). But I try my best to be satisfied with his efforts, to appreciate what he do than to look for other things. I'm now a more considerate person than I was before.
Through this relationship, I matured. Maybe some people will even negate this saying that I'm immature. But I can say this because I don't rush to decisions like a child. Love is no longer a distraction. It made me inspired. It makes me live like the air around me. It made me chaste after my dreams first before pursuing a lifetime with him. To prepare a solid foundation before pursuing a lifetime commitment.
Through this relationship, I learned how to persevere and to not give up easily. It made me use my mind - to be critical and creative in thinking. To decide out of the box options. To not give up, still, doing what is right.
HE completed my life. And if he's gone, a black hole is built in my heart - it sucks every positive emotions I have. Thank you for being there.
This relationship contributed another great thing - It made me ME right now - a STURDIER mariz. Thanks.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Rain-minisces
bluewaes_aiz
08102010
While waiting for the Train at the MRT station to arrive, I look-up at the clear sky slowly turning dark...I just imagined myself in the province, away from the busy set-up of the city...Where I can clearly see the sky, and feel the smoothing breeze of the wind... Reminiscing...
Then, the sky's anger just pour down, while we're talking about something. Some issues unsolved, some cases thrown. I don't want to give up on him. If there'll be problems, it should be US and not them. I ask him questions after questions. I don't want to judge and jump into conclusions so I ask him and he answered honestly... but even if we sort things out on our own, others are still buzzing their own stand. I don't want to mind them... to meet them... So I hastily walk away from them and stand with him... Drawing away, rain poured down more and more... While we stand under one umbrella being thrown by the storm. Yes, we're damp and cold...really cold. But still, I don't want to give up on him, even if this cold kills me. As the song says, "I'd rather be beside you in a storm... than safe and warm by my own"... But...
Wooot... wooot... The trains here...Gotta ride the train and go with the flow...
08102010
While waiting for the Train at the MRT station to arrive, I look-up at the clear sky slowly turning dark...I just imagined myself in the province, away from the busy set-up of the city...Where I can clearly see the sky, and feel the smoothing breeze of the wind... Reminiscing...
Then, the sky's anger just pour down, while we're talking about something. Some issues unsolved, some cases thrown. I don't want to give up on him. If there'll be problems, it should be US and not them. I ask him questions after questions. I don't want to judge and jump into conclusions so I ask him and he answered honestly... but even if we sort things out on our own, others are still buzzing their own stand. I don't want to mind them... to meet them... So I hastily walk away from them and stand with him... Drawing away, rain poured down more and more... While we stand under one umbrella being thrown by the storm. Yes, we're damp and cold...really cold. But still, I don't want to give up on him, even if this cold kills me. As the song says, "I'd rather be beside you in a storm... than safe and warm by my own"... But...
Wooot... wooot... The trains here...Gotta ride the train and go with the flow...
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Tanda ng Aking Pagiging Makakalimutin Part 1
bluewaves_aiz
08052010
Inaamin ko... Makakalimutin ako... Unahin nating ireminisce ung latest na nangyari...
Tuesday: Bumili ako ng baon sa office... Noodles, gatas, pineapple juice para baunin sa Wednesday ung Noodles, at gatas(pampalakas ng resistance)... That day, nakalimutan ko ang MRT card ko sa office...
Wednesday: Nakalimutan ko pagkain ko... pati pera ko, nasa MRT na ako... ahaha... 9pesos na lang nasa bag ko, at 11 pesos ung kelangan para makarating ako sa office... 2pesos lang kulang 2PESOS lang... ayos lang sana kasi may ATM naman ako... kaso malayo pa ang ATM Machine sa kinalalagyan ko... Nakakahiya man, humingi na ako ng 2pesos doon kay manong-na-pinagtanungan-ko... kesa naman magnakaw ako di ba? (powered by palusot.com)... Salamat manong!
And long time ago: Naiwan ko pitaka ko sa office, uwian na noon... Hindi na ako makabalik kasi sarado na(gabi na kasi talaga iyon)... 15pesos na lang pera ko, at may MRT card pa naman ako noon... nagbayad ako ng 6pesos sa jeep na supposedly ay 7pesos(buti na lang student-trainee pa ako noon)... tagatak ng pawis ko habang paakyat ako ng MRT... halungkat ng halungkat sa bag kung meron pa akong kahit anong barya na maligaw... Unfortunately, wala akong nahugot... Doon ko napahalagahan ang bawat piso na ini-snub ko lang... kasi every cent counts at that time... eh 9pesos na lang... kailangan ko pa ng 6pesos para makauwi ako sa amin... bumaba na ako ng MRT... kahit ATM, naiwan ko talaga... so ayon, pahirapan ako ngayon...
Naghihintay ako ng bus... nag-iisip ng paraan para makarating sa amin... iniisip kong irecycle mga ticket ko ng bus...para kapag nag-inspection, pwede kong gamitin... o sumakay ng jeep at umupo sa tabi ng driver tsaka mag-explain na kesyo ganito...kesyo ganyan...o kaya ride and run! 30 minutes na akong nananalangin at nag-iisip ng gagawin... Bakit ko pa kasi naiwan pitaka ko noon... makakalimutin talaga... And another provision... may isang manong... naglakas loob na ako... sabay sabi, "Kuya, kakapalan ko na mukha ko...kulang po ako ng pamasahe,... hihiram lang po sana ng 6pesos"... Grabe ang hiya ko noon! Pero mas maganda pa naman iyon kaysa sa mga nauna kong plano... Hindi talaga ako pinabayaan!
Nakaligtas din!
08052010
Inaamin ko... Makakalimutin ako... Unahin nating ireminisce ung latest na nangyari...
Tuesday: Bumili ako ng baon sa office... Noodles, gatas, pineapple juice para baunin sa Wednesday ung Noodles, at gatas(pampalakas ng resistance)... That day, nakalimutan ko ang MRT card ko sa office...
Wednesday: Nakalimutan ko pagkain ko... pati pera ko, nasa MRT na ako... ahaha... 9pesos na lang nasa bag ko, at 11 pesos ung kelangan para makarating ako sa office... 2pesos lang kulang 2PESOS lang... ayos lang sana kasi may ATM naman ako... kaso malayo pa ang ATM Machine sa kinalalagyan ko... Nakakahiya man, humingi na ako ng 2pesos doon kay manong-na-pinagtanungan-ko... kesa naman magnakaw ako di ba? (powered by palusot.com)... Salamat manong!
And long time ago: Naiwan ko pitaka ko sa office, uwian na noon... Hindi na ako makabalik kasi sarado na(gabi na kasi talaga iyon)... 15pesos na lang pera ko, at may MRT card pa naman ako noon... nagbayad ako ng 6pesos sa jeep na supposedly ay 7pesos(buti na lang student-trainee pa ako noon)... tagatak ng pawis ko habang paakyat ako ng MRT... halungkat ng halungkat sa bag kung meron pa akong kahit anong barya na maligaw... Unfortunately, wala akong nahugot... Doon ko napahalagahan ang bawat piso na ini-snub ko lang... kasi every cent counts at that time... eh 9pesos na lang... kailangan ko pa ng 6pesos para makauwi ako sa amin... bumaba na ako ng MRT... kahit ATM, naiwan ko talaga... so ayon, pahirapan ako ngayon...
Naghihintay ako ng bus... nag-iisip ng paraan para makarating sa amin... iniisip kong irecycle mga ticket ko ng bus...para kapag nag-inspection, pwede kong gamitin... o sumakay ng jeep at umupo sa tabi ng driver tsaka mag-explain na kesyo ganito...kesyo ganyan...o kaya ride and run! 30 minutes na akong nananalangin at nag-iisip ng gagawin... Bakit ko pa kasi naiwan pitaka ko noon... makakalimutin talaga... And another provision... may isang manong... naglakas loob na ako... sabay sabi, "Kuya, kakapalan ko na mukha ko...kulang po ako ng pamasahe,... hihiram lang po sana ng 6pesos"... Grabe ang hiya ko noon! Pero mas maganda pa naman iyon kaysa sa mga nauna kong plano... Hindi talaga ako pinabayaan!
Nakaligtas din!
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