I miss someone so badly, it hurts ;(

bluewaves_aiz
01122011

Its nearing the time of truth... And Im still wide awake... with my buggy eyes and my tormented heart driving my fingers to type...

I... was never really that kind of poetic as a person... Not verbose... Not expressive... Not dramatic... Not at all sweet... Im more like a cold-hearted man...

But that coldness melted with his voice, his simple notes of saying, "ngatz!", his mere presence, the way he looks into me, the way he keeps his silence just to preserve the moment, and send me sea of emotions my heart can't contain...

I never even imagined that I'll fall this hard, that driving him away from me would suck my life.

I might be with my closest friends, that can keep me some company for the day. But after that, at my dreaded time, when Im alone, when I'd like to shut my eyes and sleep, that's where the thoughts of him rush back to me... Its like a curse that's been tormenting me everyday... And I just dont really know what kind of medicine should I take to get me rid of that curse.

I thought Im used to this situation... That his there, Im here, We know where we stand in our lives, We're on the process of building our dreams, and we badly want to build it fast, and that at the desired time, we'll be okay.

I should not be this melodramatic, cause we're just rational with our actions, but tonight, emotions welling up on me... Maybe because its the 12th...What's worse? I just watched Going the Distance and Dear John, which I can relate to... long-distance...

If only this situation would lighten up a bit... Hopefully, tonight, I can ease my wary heart....